“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”
Hi dear friends. For those that are doing “Dry January”, how do you feel? Is it a piece of cake? Is it harder than you thought? I would honestly love to hear from you.
January has been going along well until January 25th. Good news is, I did not give up or give in. All month long, I had felt really strong in my mind and body while having great energy. It felt amazing to get stuff done, not be hungover, have focus, and just feel in control of things. And then…BAM!
Without any warning whatsoever, I had this weird 24 -48 hour period where I felt angry, irritable, little enthusiasm, and even anxious. It was so bad that I had to just to take a big ass time out and reset. On a Saturday night, at 8:30pm, I sprayed a boat load of lavender mist on my pillow went to bed with every hope of waking up in a different head space on Sunday morning.
Luckily, my plan worked! Sunday morning I woke up and joined a friend for a run, managed to teach a movement class and was surrounded by the best energy. Hooray for progress, coping skills, and enough sense to make this happen versus what I really freaking wanted was a big old glass of vino omg Saturday night to tame whatever nerves I was feeling.
While this odd little episode occurred, I just so happened to be reading a book by Clare Pooley called, The Sober Diaries. At the time of my little internal struggle, I felt like maybe I was experiencing a few symptoms of perimenopause. I mean after all, I have the belly fat, random forgetfulness and irritability to go with that so it made sense to me. But, I was learning about a new kind of PAWS other than my sweet perimenopausal friend. This new PAWS is Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome. Ah-ha!
There a few symptoms of PAWS (which to me mirror symptoms of perimenopause) and they include: mood swings, tiredness, disruption of sleep and low enthusiasm for things. Guess what else is a symptom, memory lapses. Hot damn! I read that PAWS is the second stage of withdrawal from alcohol. It seems as though my brain is working to return back to equilibrium and while it does this, the chemistry may fluctuate a bit. The joy of it all!
Additional research has taught me that PAWS can last for a bit and it could be cyclical. (My family will be thrilled to know this fact.) I kind of feels like double whammy. Don’t you think so too?
At any rate, as Margaret Thatcher says, “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” My ammunition happens to be meditation, exercise, time with family and friends, good sleep, no hangovers, and seeing daily progress and little victories as I grow my business. That feels solid for now to get me through the next few months of exploring my relationship and ultimately deciding how I move forward. This past weekend won’t be my last battle, but I feel like I have all the tools in place to keep on winning.