Hello Road to Sobertown family. I am excited to share that I have asked family and friends to share their thoughts and feelings about my past drinking and my choice to work towards not drinking at all. It is important to me to hear from others and I feel this will be a very enlightening time. Enjoy reading my sweet momma’s thoughts.
I am Judi and I am the mother of Stephanie. She asked me to share my feelings on her drinking.
First off, Stephanie comes from a long line of alcoholics. My mother did not drink. My dad, Johnny, was abusive verbally and physically to my mom all my life. He was only verbally abusive with me. Johnny had one brother to die at the age of 33 from cirrhosis of the liver. His other brother was an alcoholic and got straightened out. My dad quit drinking when MY kids were in elementary school. I recently realized that my dad expereicned PTSD because he was an 18 year old country boy sent overseas to be in the Normandy Invasion-D Day.
The reason I share my past is because I did not ever want to be overbearing with my family about drinking. I guess you could say I hated it. Even though I hated drinking, I did drink. I don’t like beer or wine, I like the hard stuff. I like how it makes me feel, but down in my gut, I know that I am an alcoholic. Every parent hopes that their children will not drink, but that is a fantasy that your children will not drink if they grew up with parents that did drink.
Children who have non drinking parents may be very good about not drinking and would not put themselves in that position. Drinking parents need to realize that they are setting an example for their children.
I was the funny drunk always crude, rude and socially unacceptable. There was never just have one drink, I had to finish the liquor bottle. So you see why I choose not to drink. I would have to make the apology calls the day after.
Stephanie’s dad was a drinker and she grew up with a parent who did not model the best behavior. I felt like I knew Stephanie would drink and it is not that I condoned it, but I felt like it was better to know what was going on. I realized that some friends drank and peer pressure is hard to over come. I was not worried about her drinking at that time or if she had an issue with it. In college, I knew she drank but I did not know how much. I can’t say I did not worry about it, but it was always in the back of my mind.
When the family would get together, Stephanie, her dad and her brother would get together there would be wine and/or beer, but I never noticed her getting all that drunk, just got loose.
Since Stephanie lives in Virginia and I in North Carolina, I would not experience her drinking that much. When I was there I would see her drink but did not think she was overboard with it. I guess it was after she had kids, that I started wondering about it. Again, because of the history with my dad, I never said anything to her because I felt like I was making too much of it and she would blow me off or get angry with me for saying something. In my defense, we had told my dad for years that he drank too much and he did not see that. He finally quit drinking when he realized that driving drunk would get him jail time and he did not want to lose his license. I believe that the person has to want to make that change or that decision not to drink.
I am very proud of Stephanie for making this decision. I am always so surprised to find out that she has anxiety around people and that is why she drank. I am sorry to say I never realized it. She is such a wonderful, funny and kind person. She is beautiful inside and out. She should be proud of herself in the fact that she realized that she had a problem with drinking and did not wait until something horrible happened before she quit. She is very wise.