Sober Glow = Energy, Clarity, and Peace.

Months ago, I was about to write a blog called Sober Glow: When the Hell Are You Showing Up? Honestly, when I started on this Road to Sobertown back in May, I thought I would instantly feel amazing, my skin would look radiant overnight and the excess weight would just melt right off this middle aged body.

Well, I am hear to share that my skin still resembles that of a teenager going through puberty (but it is getting better) and the weight that I hoped would fall off, has not, YET!

While I don’t have the glowing complexion or loose fitting clothes, I take comfort in the fact that I feel more energetic, peaceful and clear each day when I wake up. This took several months to experience, but this type of “sober glow” has finally arrived and I am truly grateful.

Energy…Sweet Lord. I am so happy to finally feel like I am not dragging ass each day. For months, I felt as though I could barely make it to lunchtime. Suppertime would come and I would be in my pajamas. It was so hard to get through a day because of just how tired I was and it was incredibly frustrating. I was like “Do I need to drink to feel better?” Perhaps it was withdrawl, or my body getting rid of the crap I had fed it for years. Who really knows? But for now, for the first time in a long time, I want to make dinner, I clean the house on the regular as if I am expecting royalty and I could read until the wee hours of the morning. Three cheers to energy!

Clarity…It’s safe to say that I had been walking around in a fog for quite some time. I can blame pregnancy brain to newborn then toddler fog. Then there was “damn, I drank to much the night before” fog (for longer than it needed to be). When I quit drinking on the regular and in excess back in May, I thought the fog would lift quickly. Frustratingly, like the energy, it did not. The fog lingered all summer long. It has only been in the last week or so that I finally feel a sense of clarity and it is freaking magical. I know what I want AND there is a determination to make it happen (like a fire in the belly kind of determination). There is a path way for me to achieve goals that I haven’t experienced before. I used to feel like sometimes I had silly battles to deal with but I don’t feel that way any longer. I won’t except my dumbass excuses and by no means will I tolerate the bullshit I have put up with in the past. Life is short and meant to be lived to the fullest AND I have shit to accomplish! Let’s hear it for CLARITY!

Peace…The thoughts that have haunted me for as long as I can remember: a) Are people mad/upset with me? b) Do people genuinely like me? c) Have I hurt someone’s feelings and did not know it? d) God, I hope I show up the best way I can be the best kind of friend to all who are in my life.

After a night of drinking in the past, the first thing I used to do post wake up was send an apology text to anyone I was with the previous night. There were apologies for loud and silly behavior. After the apology came the question about whether or not I had done/said anything to make anyone mad. For heavens sake, I had lived in fear for years. There have been countless hours with my head spinning in a dangerous and downward spiral worrying or obsessing about how others felt about me. (I know this sounds narcissistic and I don’t mean for it to. I just never wanted to do anything wrong or piss anyone off.) Well, the beautiful thing that happens as a result of me not drinking is that I am no longer foggy on the details of the previous night and there is nothing to apologize for or worry about. 🙂 Nailed it! I find myself a little more quiet and reserved (I am not sure how I feel about this version of myself yet, but I am still getting to know her.) I have kept socializing to a minimum over the last several months and it has been in small group settings because I feel like I don’t know how to show up in big groups without alcohol. Booze was my crutch. I know I will get there in time, but for now, it feels really good to wake up worry free and at peace with how I behaved the evening before. Heartfelt conversations with friends can never be a bad way to spend a night.

To address “D” from above…that thought will never leave me brain. I always hope to show up the best way I can for everyone in my life. Now that I have more energy, clarity and peace, time spent will be a lot more meaningful and I will be more present when I am with family and friends. That is always a win-win.

It’s a great feeling knowing the long awaited sober glow has finally arrived.

Published by Stephanie

What a privilege to get to connect with you, the reader. Thank you for taking time to read this blog. My family is my world. I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, coach and friend to some wonderful humans. I have a passion for helping people feel good from the inside out. My background is in health and wellness and presently, I own manage a small personal training business. I love to swim/bike/run, teach fitness classes, read, cook and talk all things self care. In recent months, I have decided to improve my relationship with alcohol which may mean ultimately going sober. This blog is about how I came to this decision and the journey ahead. My hope is to connect with others in the same place and share things that may help. May we openly talk about the hard things like our emotions and feelings and lift one another up by sharing our love and strength.

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